Why pierce your aura? There is a lot of nonsense on the web these days about quantum jumping and quantum conciousness, quantum this and quantum that, and don't none of it have no basis in real science. You can't just jump from one parallel universe to another, and there ain't nothing quantum about consciousness, except for maybe when you have a real bad hangover. But there is some real science behind the laser, and it works because them electrons make quantum jumps, that's a jump where you don't go in between,  from one level to the next in them laser atoms. Not only that, but a laser will pierce you just as good as a needle (ask Buzz, if you don't believe ol Tater). That's why Buzz and Tater got to talking that one night in 1996. You see, Buzz, that's his nickname, cause he was always falling into the buzz saw down at the mill, had just got him one of them laser carving tools - you know the kind: they use em to carve them lil old boxes at the gift store down to the airport. Anyways, Buzz was setting it up, and it weren't working right. So Buzz, he's bendin down like he's about to look into that laser, and ol Tater he says "You ain't fixin to look into that laser, Buzz!" and Buzz, he got his eye right down in there and he turns and says "Dang it, Tater, I..." and that's when it happened. Buzz' head bumped the power cord, and that damned laser turned on and burned a hole clean through his earlobe. Luckily, it was the right lobe. Anyways, Buzz and Tater got to talking about how on slow days, they might could rent the machine to Herman, the tattoo feller. He's got a parlor up in Humbert, and you should see them lil gals with their pierced everythings come in there. Like to make you queasy. So Buzz he says, "I'm gonna pierce me somethin," and he grabs Tater's can of chew and pops it in there. Well, ol Tater wasn't having none of it, and he reached for that can, but as he grabbed it, it twisted so that the laser was reflecting off the can and right onto Tater's forhead, right there in the middle. Tater didn't know what hit him. He fell over and whacked his head on the cinderblocks he had been sittin on. He was knocked out. Knocked out good. But while he was knocked out, he had a vision. Tater saw hisself leave his body, but it wern't like a spirit or nothing, it was just like another Tater, only glowing like a Coleman lantern, and with a silvery rope connecting that floating Tater to the dead Tater. What a sight. But you know what? That silver rope was a wrapped around dead Tater's neck and poked through the hole in floating Tater's forehead. That laser had poked a hole in Tater's soul, and threaded it with silver. Well, sir, it wasn't too long before that floating Tater realized he couldn't float off, cause that silver rope was threaded through that hole, and he just snapped back on in dead Tater, which is when Tater's vision ended and he woke up. It was a miracle, and ol Tater was a changed man. He started reading up on spiritual matters, and before too long, he run across some of them Indian books, not the "woo woo" kind, but the "thank you, come again" kind.  And right there in them books was the story of the silver rope, and the auras and the chakras and the floating Tater, except it weren't Tater, it was some Indian feller, but it was the same exact thing Tater had saw in his vision. Only when the floating feller in the Indian story got out, he stayed out, and that silver cord just snapped right off. You could see the smile ripen up right there on ol Tater's face. He realized he had cheated death, and somehow when that laser beam hit him in the forehead, it had punched a hole in something. Turned out it was Tater's aura, and that was the part on floating Tater that had that silver cord stuck through. So Tater thought to hisself "If I can aim that laser at people's heads just right, I could pierce their auras just right so that they won't die every time their head takes a beatin!" And that's just what he did. Tater and Buzz teamed up, and with Buzz' carving laser and Tater's secret knowledge of just where to put that Red Man tin, they started Buzz and Tater's Laser Aura Piercing. Now with their tenth year in business creeping up, they thought they ought to get on the Internet and spread the word. YOU DON"T HAVE TO DIE!!!! With Laser Aura Piercing, you can get your silver cord poked through your aura so's your soul can't just float off whenever you get in a fix. It don't cost but $20, less than you put in the collection plate each year, or less than the membership fee for one of them crazy "Bob" religions, and ain't no one can see that hole, cause it's in your aura!